This and That...

I don't really have any "earth shattering" news to share...which frankly, is a really good thing I suppose!! So here's a little this and that of the happenings at The Lords House...


Carter and Oakley had "Hawaiian Day" at school. They were insistent that they dress up, and so would everyone else. So, Dollar Store...here I went...DANG...for about $3, I think they look pretty flippin’ cool!!

Come to find out, they said hardly anyone dressed up. After school I asked them how it went, and Oakley said "Mom, do you know what happened to me??"

ME: silently gasping hoping she wasn't ridiculed at school....

Oakley: "Everyone told me I was beautiful"

PHEW...she IS beautiful!!!

So, Parker is our funny man. He found daddy's work boots and started stomping around in them. OF COURSE I thought...HOW CUTE...and wanted to capture it. What I didn't realize was how FUNNY he poses....what a goof ball!!!

Blazer thought Parker was hilarious...In fact Blazer LOVES Parker...he calls him "GUYS"!! The last few nights, he has abandoned his own bed, and slept in "GUYS" bed. It is rather cute!

Finally, we have become SO MORMON that we outgrew our minivan....!!! WHAT??!! Yep, you heard me. It only was a seven-seater, and even though we have seven, we must have chosen the one van that was so darn small, because Carter couldn't even sit straight in the back seat!! He had to sit sideways...and we went to Utah this last weekend, and decided...that CAN'T work anymore...SOOOOO....here's what we did...

I have to say that I was not thrilled about getting a "big vehicle". You see, I am a short person, and I really don't feel the need to "compensate" like a guy would...BUT, I liked how much room it had in the back, and we found this Yukon Denali for a STEAL!!! Luckily our van was paid off, and so our trade made for an even sweeter deal...!! We really didn't want to strap ourselves with a new vehicle, so we were blessed to find this...It is definitely not new, but it is definitely what our family needed...!!!

Litte Romy is still growing, and we are starting to wonder if her little heart was just tricking us, because she still has yet to have an episode at home. We were so prepared to be making at least two trips a week to the hospital because IN the hospital she was having a minimum of two episodes a week...!! GO FIGURE!! We really have been blessed!! She was 7lbs 12oz at her appt on Thursday...and she is a sweetie!!

Why not Challenge myself???

ell, I do say that this challenge couldn't have come at a better time...!!  The challenge this week  at I ♥ Faces is "Faces and Flowers"...I happened to capture BOTH without even knowing!!  See, I got this whim just on Saturday after my daughter's birthday party, to use the extra tulle and flowers we used to make fun flower veils to make my newborn a little tutu and headband...you can only imagine the fun I had making it into a little photo shoot!!  Here is my 8 week old sleeping angel!!!!

(click to see the full image!!)

Wish me Luck!!!

And hey...if you want to enter this week's contest too...here's the link...it's pretty fun!

While I should be sleeping...

ou know what I love about the world today...??  Technology!!  Seven years ago, if I wanted cute pictures of Oakley...I had to take her in to a Studio...luckily, I worked at Kiddie Kandids, and they would let me do the pictures, but I did still have to pay for them!!  Today, when I want cute pictures of Romy, it is ALL too convenient!   I say TOO convenient because I have this slight tendancy to spend WAY too much time taking pictures and editing...it's almost dare I say...an obsession??!!

Well, either way, I am proud to show ya my daughter, and how beautiful I think she is....here she is at 6 weeks old:

Brian teases me because I LOVE sleeping babies, and I take TONS of them sleeping.  I just think it is so much easier to get a good shot...they are comfy, and aren't aware of all the moving and positioning...PLUS...they look so Heavenly!!

Oakley's Birthday was this last weekend.  I will post pictures of it soon, but they made the cutest little flower veils, and I happened to have some tulle and flowers left over, and got myself a little idea....here's what happened to that little idea....

Doesn't she look SO angelic??  I sure thought so!!  See...sleeping babies...I just can't get enough!! 

For the records....Romy is 8 weeks old in these pictures, and she now weighs 7lbs 6oz.  That was the size of Oakley, who was also my smallest full term baby!!!

It's a Family Affair...

I was SO EXCITED to go home so the kids could FINALLY see their baby sister.  I mean it was really like telling them they get to go on some super exciting trip, OH, but by the way, you are gonna have to wait 5 weeks to go.  I am sure I am not the only one who doesn't tell their kids until it's time to pack...even ONE NIGHT is an eternity for them!!  I have to say, I must have THE MOST patient kids on earth.  They were such good kiddos...and they were SO HAPPY to finally meet little Romy Lin...

Parker got to hold her very first.  He and Blazer were the only ones home since the older two were at school.  He just looked so darn proud!!

Blazer didn't know what the heck was going on.  He would point to the carseat, and gasp, and then point again and then gasp.  He did that several times like "Hey mom...did you know there is a THING in there??!!"  I would say baby, but he really seemed to think she was an alien at first.  He sure was excited to hold this alien, and even gave her the cutest loves!!!

Oakley was who I was the most excited to see a reaction from.  Every night before bed, she insisted on kissing my belly, and although we hadn't named her yet, would kiss "Little Romy Lin" goodnight by name.  Everytime I talked to her on the phone in the hospital, she would ask about her, and want me to kiss her.  Even before I was pregnant, she would cry in her room at night saying "I am the only one who has to sleep alone!!  Why don't I have anyone to share a room with??!!"  I always felt bad that she seemed left out.   Well, her wish came true!!  I hope she still feels like this in five years when "Little Romy Lin" is getting into all of her stuff...

She may seem somber...but she is in utter awe of her little sister...just precious!!

I know what you are thinking...HEY, you forgot about Carter!!  NOPE...Carter really was excited to meet her, and even thought she was the cutest thing, saying "Mommy, she is really beautiful"...but when I asked if he wanted to hold her he replied...

Nah...

HAHAHA...BOYS!!!

The Final Walk...

After being in the hospital for so long and the emotions, the experiences, the tears, the joy, the people...just everything, I couldn't believe that it was finally time to bring my sweet baby home. 

Brian was able to stay with me that last night, and while he and Romy Lin were quiet, I decided to take a walk down the hallways to just reminisce about the whole 5 week experience...Here is a small glimpse into the life I lived...

I guess we'll start at her room.  Room 17.  I can't tell ya HOW MANY TIMES...I went to this room...It always lifted my spirits to see Romy...

She was givin several cards and animals, so OF COURSE...I put them up for her to see!!

I spent the majority of my stay in Guest Quarters.  It was a small little room that I could get away from all the doctors and nurses...and gather my thoughts.  It was at the opposite end of the hospital down an long hallway....and it always seemed SO FAR to have to go...and everytime...I had to be wheeled in a wheelchair.   By the second week or so, everyone on the transport team knew who I was...

I don't know why, but from the very beginning, as soon as I turned the corner, and saw this...

I thought to myself "DISNEYLAND!!!!!!"  I had so many complications with my c-section, infections, hematomas, muscle tearing...no matter how much pain I was in, I would turn that corner, and instantly feel a little excitement.  Sometimes, I left Disneyland in tears, because my ride would be broken, or wasn't working properly at the time, but other times, I left so happy, and fulfilled...

This is the lobby going into the NICU.  I loved how when I would come, all the doors would open letting me in to this new world....

This is the mural I saw just before getting to my daughters room....

These are some of the doctors that worked on my girl.  I owe them everything for helping my daughter to live...because without them, I would be without....

Finally, my walk took me back to the room where I would sleep the last night at the hospital...I felt so much emotion durning this walk I took by myself.  Thinking of all the experience I had gained, thinking of all the emotion I had felt.  I was almost going to miss this place...this place that saved my life...this place that gave me a daughter healthy enough to bring home...this place that almost seemed like a hell some days...I was really going to miss it....almost...

The next day, we really were leaving.  We still weren't believing it, but I think the doctors were just as excited to get us out the door as we were! 

This is her monitor...finally showing NOTHING...!!

My sweet baby in her big girl seat...

And us...leaving together...to go complete our family....!! 

Of course, I was emotional all over again leaving...but I really was elated to go.

This trip to the hospital has changed my life forever...

Forgetfull Lucy...

Through all this going on with our little girl...there have been moments that almost stood still...moments that I don't want to forget...because they meant something to me...

~The moment I looked up after hearing the fasted heatbeat imaginable, and seeing the look of concern on my doctors face...that look I will never forget, nor the feeling in my gut that something...just wasn't right...

~Since Parker, I have been very worried about having another c-section, because I had such a bad recovery and was hospitalized twice after he was born. When they told me this time I was having one...I wasn't even worried about that. I was almost numb. I really didn't have a whole lot of fear, just numbness. Everyone rushed around, and next thing I knew, I was in the operating room getting my spinal. The anesthesiologist doing the procedure had a reassuring voice, and talked to me the whole time. Once I was numb...physically, they had me laying on the table and I remember just feeling vulnerable. I really hadn't cried, or freaked out, or anything...I just lay there in utter shock. He stayed with me and was talking to me about different things, trying to distract me, I can remember nodding blankly, and then he asked me..."do you have a name picked out for her?"

For some reason it was this point that I lost it. It was real. I just layed there with tears streaming down my face. The next thing I knew, there was a tissue silently wiping each one of my tears. It was the most compassionate thing I have ever experienced. It was as if Heavenly Father was saying to me "I am here." I have always known that He watches over us, but in that moment, I felt Him there. All because a perfect stranger wiped my tears...

~The first time I held my sweet precious daughter in my arms, and her little heart crashed in my arms.  They took my baby from me...and began treating her.  I will never forget what it looked like when they gave her the medication to restart her little heart....the shudder of her little body...the small helpless whimper that came from my suffering baby....

~The "Girls Night In"...my sisters brought Twilight to the hospital, and treats, and we had a girls movie night.  I had all my sisters in one room with me, and they will never know how much I needed that distraction...even if the movie did take five hours to complete!!

~The night I was alone at my daughters bedside.  Her little body shaking from the oscillator.  She held my hand.  I was exhausted, and had to finally pry myself away from her.  I told her I loved her, and she sqeezed my finger three times...as if to say...I LOVE YOU...it sent tears running down my face...

~All the visitors...you can't imagine how lonely it gets here...but one time in particular stands out.  The time I came to my room and there were two girls from my ward sitting in my room waiting patiently for me to get back from the NICU.  They brought goodies for me, and stayed for over two hours, talking and laughing...it was solace to my heart.  They also brought with them polish, and painted my toes.  It was such a selfless service that was so touching to me.  The love that people have shown and offered has been so overwhelming to me...

~Brian gave me a Willow Tree figurine "Angel of Mine".  It is a mother holding her baby.  It was so thoughtful and really sweet!  I loved it!! Then looking at it again later...I realized it couldn't have depicted little Romy Lin better.  With her picc line, she couldn't have any clothing on her one arm, so it was always sticking out.  On this figurine...one of the baby's arms is sticking out naked...just as Romy's did.  Now I sit in my little hospital room, and look at that figurine constantly thinking of my baby, just wondering when I will get to take her home with me...

~My brother.  He has been a huge support to me.  Sharing his experiences with his own son, who didn't make it after being in the NICU for a month and a half, taking me to breakfast, calling me, giving Romy a little crib friend, a buffalo beanie baby named "Roam"...and so, so much more.  I will never forget the new bond that we share...

~The sweat pouring from the Respiratory Therapist's face as he extubated our little girl.  To see such dedication and focus, in a tense moment was amazing...

~The first time I saw my baby.  She was always there, somewhere, but the day she actually "came to life"...it was almost as if you could see her little spirit entering her body saying, "Now, I am here..."

~Luguya - the nurse that got me through the hardest times.  So much compasion, reassurance, so much love. It was almost like having my mom there with me...I needed her

~Barb - the nurse that I connected with the most...AND the one that knew how important having a cute little bow in my daughter's hair every day was... ;)  

This is going to have to be a "never ending" post.  There are so many moments that I am sure I have forgotten.  So many people that have made such an impact in our lives these last few weeks...And so many experiences I have yet to encounter...I may have to continually update this post, so that I "never forget"...

Technically speaking...

Okay, I am posting this MOSTLY for myself.  I went through the "NICU" book that they gave me, and they had all the "proper" terms for what all they are doing, and have done for my baby.  I wanted to "put them down on paper" so-to-speak, so I can remember it all.  I will TRY and go in alphabetical order...good luck Tamra...

Acidosis: High acidity of the blood.  Romy had this.  They first tried to give her fluid boluses (bolus: lots of fluid given in a short amount of time) but it wasn't working.   They then put her on dopamine a blood pressure medicine.  They were tentative about doing that because the side effect of dopamine is tachycardia(tachycardia: fast heart beat), which is what got her delivered early in the firstplace.  She was on this for five days.

Apnea: pauses in breathing lasting more than 15-20 seconds.  Romy has had one episode of this, which caused a brief episode of bradycardia. (bradycardia: slowing of the heart rate to less than 80 beats/minute)  This is about the time they decided intubating (intubate: placing a small tube called and ET tube through the mouth into baby's airway connecting to a ventilator) her and putting her on a ventilator was neccessary (ventilator: a maching that helps the baby breathe by giving pressure and oxygen to the lungs). 

CBC: Complete blood count/ a test that measures red and white blood cels and platelets.  She has had SO many heel sticks checking her CBC levels. (heel sticks: pricking a baby's heel with a small needle to collect drops of blood)  This is how they found her infections and put her on two different antibiotics on two different occasions.  This is also how they did dextrostix (Dextrostix (d-stick): a test requiring a drop of blood that determines the glucose level in the blood)



Containment: Helping baby to calm and feel safe by placing your hands to hold baby in a flexed position.  We learned quickly that we couldn't "stroke" our little girl.  She was too sick.  When you have a tiny, you have to put your hands in certain positions, which is kind of like swaddling her without the blankets.  Hey...I will take ANY touch I can get!!

CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure): provided by small prongs and a mask inserted into baby's nose.  These provide oxygen and pressure to help keep the air sacs open.  This can be used after the breathing tube is removed and before a baby an breath on their own.   Before Romy could be on this device, she was first on an oscillator.  (Oscillator: a type of ventilator that keeps the baby's lungs inflated all of the time by giving tiny amounds of air at very fast rates)  I hated seeing her on this machine.  It would just shake her.  She had to be on this for a couple of days before she graduated to a conventional ventilator, and then eventually to the CPAP.

Echocardiogram:  A painless test using sound waves to produce a picture of the heart.  Romy had several of theses test while trying to diagnose her.  They also did several EKG's (EKG: a record of electric current produced by the heart muscle from which certain things can be learned about the heart's structure and function) to find out why she had tachycardia .

Extubation: removal of the ET tube.  She had this done twice.  The first time she was showing false signs of recovery.  She then plumited severely for several days with her SVT, (the diagnosis that they came up with for her heart), fluid and infection in the lungs, and hypotension (extremely low blood pressure).  The second time, her scores were boarderline, but the RT (Respitory Therapist) felt she would be ready to try the CPAP.  Her blood gas levels threatened a re-intubation, but she saved herself at the last minute with a normal count!!

Nasogastric tube (NG tube):  A tube that is passed through the nose into the stomach.  Romy had this to vent air out of her stomach while she was on her ventilators and CPAP.  They would periodically pull air out of her stomach...it looked SO uncomfortable.

PICC line (percutaneously inserted centra catheter): A special longer lasting IV.  It is a soft, tiny tube that is inserted into a blood vessel.  A speciay trained group of nurses or doctors put them in.  They use x-rays to guide them and use a sterile room.

RDS (respiratory distress syndrome): This is the most common lung disease of premature infants.  It is caused by not having enough surfactant (a substance that coats the airs sacs in the lungs).  Surfactant helps keep the air sacs open.  The air sacs must be open for the baby to get oxygen in and carbon dioxide out of the blood...which is what Romy struggled with for days.  She had SEVERAL surfactant treatments because her x-rays were continually showing hazy, fluid filled lungs.

Tachypnea: breathing faster than normal.  Babies generally greathe approximately 40-60 times a minute.  When Romy Lin was first put on her canula (small tubes delivering a small dose of oxygen) she would breath up to 90 times a minute.  It was hard for her to figure this whole "breathing business" out!!

UAC (umbilical artery catheter): A special kind of IV placed in one of the vessels of the umilical cord.  Fluids can be given, and blood can be drawn for lab testing.  The doctors put one of these in Romy, and then ended up taking it out when they thought she was doing fairly well after that first night.  I wish they could have kept it to save her poor heels that now look like she was stabbed repeatedly...oh wait...SHE WAS...poor baby...!  It would have also saved her from having NUMEROUS IV's blow.  It seems like everytime I go see her, her IV is in a different spot...! Not to mention she has that PICC line as well...

I know this couldn't have been the MOST EXCITING POST EVER...but I don't want to forget all these technical things she went through.  So, I undersand if you didn't make it this far through the post...and if I get super low comment feedback, but hey...this is my journal...take it or leave it.

Things can change in a moment...

I know it's taken six days to get this out...but I am sure you will be understanding...right??

It was last Thursday, the 18th of March.  I had my 36 week appt.  I was feeling so uncomfortable...just swollen, and just felt so OFF!!  Of course, I am pregnant, so what could I expect?  Anyway, the doctor asked me how I was feeling, and out of nowhere, I start crying and tell her how painful the last week has been.  She reassured me that I only had a few short weeks left, and that I wouldn't be pregnant "forever", and then thought that she should check me for dialation to see what kind of progress we had made. 

skip forward about 10 minutes...I HAD made progress.  She could feel the baby's head, and I was more dialated than the week before.  SIGH...maybe the end WAS in sight.  She then got the doppler to measure the baby's heartbeat.  As she put it on my stomach, I wasn't sure at first what we were hearing.  It was SO FAST.  That couldn't be the baby's heartbeat...could it??  I looked up at the doctor, and saw the concerned look on her face.  She just kept listening.

"I don't like that...I don't like that at all...I am gonna send you over to the hospital to have you monitored."

I then asked her if I should be concerned, and she said it was pretty concerning...and I asked..."concerning like I should call my husband concerned?"

She then said that I would probably want to call him, but that she didn't think that I would be delivered today.  She wanted me to be monitored, and then possibly get medication to the baby to slow her heart rate down.

I texted Brian who was in school and said..."Going to the hospital!!! Call me!!"

I then took the LONGEST ROUTE imaginabe to the hospital, got to L & D, and checked in.  Before I knew it there was a high risk OB doctor and a cardiologist discussing a c-section.  The baby's heart rate was reaching the 280's.  On the ultrasound that they brought into the room, you could see that her heart wasn't really beating, it was more like "quivering."  They decided that at 36 weeks along, the best and safest route for her would be to deliver her so that they could treat her heart directly, instead of trying to give me medicine, and then have it go to the placenta, and then finally to the baby, which could take a whole day. 

We didn't have a day.

Once the decision was made, I was rushed back to the OR.  Brian LUCKILY got my text, and made it to the hospital in time to be briefed and get scrubs to go back for the delivery.

My doctor's appt was at 2:40, and Romy Lin was born by 4:20...!!  She was 5lbs 14 oz, and 18inches long.

It was all so surreal.  I was scared for sure...but I think my biggest feeling was numbness.  I was in total shock!!  So many questions going through my mind...and so many fears. 

They took her to the NICU and Brian went with her.  He came back with a report that they had to treat her twice for her rapid heart rate, but that they were able to stabalize it.  She was in need of oxygen though, so they kept her in NICU to get the extra help.  I got to go see her once I was stable.  They wheeled me in, and she was in a bed that had a dome over her face that was just giving her some extra oxygen.  I layed there and held her hand...at which point her saturation levels dropped to 38%.  They immediately wheeled me out so that they could stabalize her once again.  They ended up intibating her for the night. 

(in the dome)

(crashing)

The next day she was doing much better, so they took her off the ventilator.  I got to go down and see her in a wheelchair, and they even let me hold her.  It wasn't 5 minutes, and she was crashing again!!  This time it was her heart rate soaring into the 250's.  It was so scary!!  We sat back as doctors rushed around getting her the meds she needed.  When they give her the heart medication, Adenosine, it is almost as if they are using paddles.  It stops her heart temporarily, her whole little body shudders, and then it resumes beating.  It would resume at the proper rate...and then go balistic again.  They did this three times before I couldn't stand it and asked to be taken out.  I requested that the NICU call me when she was stabalized again.  Luckily I didn't have to wait TOO long.

By Saturday morning, her lungs were beginning to fail her.  One of them collapsed, and both of them were full of fluid.  She was completely intibated again.  This time, she was on and oscillator, a machine that holds her lungs open so that she doesn't have to breathe.   It completely shakes her whole little body.  She also started antibiotics, and surfactant treatments for her lungs.  This little girl is so sick!!  It was excruciatingly painful to see her for the first time.  How could I have complained about being so uncomfortable while pregnant, when I had to see needles and tubes sticking out from every limb of my daughter.  I would have gladly taken 4 more weeks of pain, than to have seen her for one minute like this...

Saturday night she began having problems keeping her blood pressures up.  They tried different ways of getting it up that were less invasive, but finally had to give her dopamine.  The problem with this drug is that the side effect is that it can speed up the heart rate...which we have finally gotten under control.  Luckily the meds didn't affect her, and her blood pressures were stable once again.

Romy's has a heart condition called SVT.  They don't know why she got it, but the good news is that her heart has no abnormalities.  For some reason it just triggers wrong.  The medicine she has been put on has been working great, and the cardiologists say that she will be on it for a year, maybe two.  We are just thankful that it is something that can be controlled, and that there is a high possibility that she will just grow out of it.  If not there is surgery to fix the condition.

Each day now is a waiting game.  She is healing, and we are waiting for her to heal....we are looking forward to seeing her little eyes open for the first time...to hear her little cry...to hold her...and of course...to take her home so that we can be a family. 

It is day 6, and I haven't seen any of my other kiddos.  It is rough, but I know I need to be here for little Romy now, and that my kids are strong and know that I love them. 

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for little Romy Lin.  She is such a trooper, and I know she will get through this...but it is through everyones prayers and hope that she is!!