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Monday, April 27, 2009

I'm Bringin' Sexy Back....Yea!

I am here to tell you about a brand new product on the market!! It is completely natural, and will give you that Botoxed look and lip injections that you have always dreamed of. Here is all you need:

1. Go outside

2. Stay there for hours

3. Be sure NOT to put on any harmful sunblocks or chapsticks that could inhibit this natural process

4. Now, enjoy your results. Your skin will be so tight and tawt, not to mention the beautifully plumped lips you have been hoping for....


Yes, I am completely aware of the undeniable beauty of this photo....


WARNING: this product has been tested on animals, may cause first and second degree burns and blisters, will cause severe redness of affected areas, will cause peeling of the involved skin, and will hurt for days. All desired effects will wear off when redness does, and you will be left with sun damage, and deeper wrinkles. Not recommended for children or adults. To be used at your own risk.

Okay, time for one of those humbling moments where no matter how hard you photoshop, you just cant make ugly pretty...!! Oh the tragedy!




Well, I am sure you cannot imagine HOW this happened, but it surely was NOT intentional....and even though I do have a glowing tan on my face, it looks a little weird compared to my all white body...sigh..bring on the tanning creams...!! (now this IS something that I can give you real tips on...I have tried it all, and found the combination that wont streak, but WILL give you all that color....sweet!)

P.S. Just a little side note...Don't worry, I am feeling great! This was a month or so ago when I was snowboarding. I am fine now...could do without the fabulous sunglasses lines though...that is a lovely touch...!!!

9 comments :

Kristina P. said...

Oh, ow!! You still look beautiful. Damn you!!

Nicole said...

Ooooh that looks like it hurts! It happens to the best of us. I think I do it once or twice a year. I have been known to do it to my children as well!
Okay, now you can let us in on your little secret.........what tanning stuff do you use. I'm headed to Vegas in 3 weeks and need desperate help :)

cynthi said...

I love your warning "not recommended for children or adults"--you're hilarious!

Thatcher family said...

You poor poor thing! Owie indeed! Hope you feel better soon

em said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. but not in a mean way, just in an "i'm so sorry b/c i've SO been there" kind of way:-( it was the backside of my body. specifically the back of my legs. snorkling in hawaii. pastey white 10 yr was me. no sunscreen. what was my mother thinking??? she thought i would just tan. duh mom. seriously, DUH!!!!! so i left looking like a lobster. i remember having the chills so badly. ugh, it was horrible. poor little brennan hasn't stepped outside without 50spf his entire life.

klynch said...

LOL sorry too funny hope your lips are better

Deborah Austin said...

So funny Tamra you are awesome!!! thanks for all the comments on my blog I am excited for you to meet her!

Grand Pooba said...

Oh my gosh!! I am so glad that is not me...and I'm sorry for you of course.

That sucks girl! But you do look sexy!

Courtney and the Boys said...

Oh my word...you are brave to post those pictures...that looks like it hurt!!! But you make pain look sexy. :) ha!