Just Say it...No, DON'T...

You know those times when you want to swear at the whole world...this would be one of those times...well, not neccessarily the "WHOLE" world...I may just be exaggerating out of utter shock...

I really was trying to have a good day.  I may have had a slight breakdown when Brian left for school after his morning break...but hey, it's been a LONG week, and I haven't seen much of him...then I start to feel like we are living two worlds, and maybe he will come home and realize that this girl he married is fat, old and pregnant, and didn't shower yet...!! YIKES...luckily, he is a sweetheart and reminds me that everything he does is for me and the kids...so that we can all have a better life...together...sigh...

Moving on...

I did finally shower...and then took Parker to preschool, and on my way home I thought I would stop in to have a house key made for Brian...since he lost his keys over a month ago, and STILL hasn't found them. 

Blazer is being quite pleasant, chattering about, and I am waiting in line to have a key made.

Enter: "Poodle Hair"  (lady who is buying paint who looks to be in her late 50's and has blondish-gray hair resembling that of a poodle)

So the register is like one of those back-to-back ones so when you are in line, you are directly facing the person who is standing in the opposite line purchasing their items (Poodle Hair).  There wasn't a cashier in mine because I was just waiting for my key to be made...

Poodle Hair exclaims to the cashier: "Wow, that is the sixth pregnant person I have seen this week!!"

Me: Smile

Cashier: Smile

Poodle Hair: "Oh, I know why....UNEMPLOYMENT."  She then goes on about it, but I couldn't listen anymore...

Cashier: Listens quietly...not saying anything...

Me:   SILENCE...this is seriously a huge thing...I was so mad that I was almost shaking.  I could TOTALLY feel my face getting hot.  I had lines popping in and out of my head such as "Just for your information, I own a dance studio, and my husband runs a carpet cleaning business that services the whole bleepin' Treasure Valley...."  and "Who are you to make an ignorant judgement such as that...you and your poodle hair??!!" or "Excuse me miss, HOW many kids do you have??"...there were other things that came to mind, but I would rather not say them out loud...

It seriously took all of my willpower not to say something snappy or rude to her.  As I walked out to our car, she was still getting in hers, and I paused briefly thinking I would put in a "LAST WORD"...and then just stomped off to my LOGO-ED car where we make no money, but pop out babies like they are free and are money-enducing products of unemployment...cause we have NOTHING BETTER TO DO...right??

Moral of the Story:  "If you can't say somethin' nice....Don't say Nuttin' at all" (Thumper from Bambi)

At least ONE of us understands this concept...psh...

Did you stuff...???

Okay, I am ONLY doing this because someday, my daughter might appreciate what I have put myself through.  I look like I have stuffed my shirt...(amongst other things...) with a giant pillow...and as you can see, this was taken a week ago...when I was a week smaller....AHHHH!!!  I am feeling rather LARGE...!!  It didn't help when I went into my doctors office and the nurse did my vitals and such,  left the room, and about 15 seconds later she bursts back into the room to say "Wow...I thought you were farther along then you are!!!"

and then walks out...

And then there was this time at the grocery store...THE SAME DAY...I went to pay for my groceries, and when I took my card out of my wallet...I fumbled...and it fell.  NO, that is a HUGE understatement...It didn't just "FALL" ...it EVER-SO-CONVENIENTLY went BETWEEN the crack of the register and the "turning bagging thingy" (ya, I have NO IDEA what those are called)  What I DO know is that they are BOTH bolted, glued, or welded to the floor.  AHHHH!!  What the heck was I gonna do??  I tried to get it out with my hands, but of course, they were too big to get back in there to get it.  I could see it but couldn't reach it.  I also made the mistake of doing this at a "high traffic" time of the day.  LOVELY.  So the checker turns off her light....(SORRY LINE BEHIND ME!!!)...and she grabs a folder for me to try and dislodge the card....doesn't work.  She calls a manager over all the while telling me how this has never happened before...YA, I KNOW...He goes off to fetch a hanger.  Just before he returns, Carter realizes that maybe HIS hand is small enough to reach it.  After much effort, he finally dislodges the card so that I can pay for my groceries...!!  I go to put the thing back in my wallet and what do I do...

I DROP IT AGAIN...

Seriously people...!!??  LUCKILY it didn't fall into the crack, but it was sitting right next to it laughing and taunting my stupidity of dropping it again...UGH.


I quickly blame the whole scene on my being pregnant (cause that is what you do...right?) and the checker says "Ya, you look like you are ready to POP!!  How far along are you??" 

I LIED...

I told her I was 7 months along...hoping that would make it better...


I dont know that it did...I guess that wasn't TOO far fetched of an answer anyhow...I am close to that...


Which brings me to my last (not neccessarily best) "big belly" story of the day...which happened several weeks ago at church.


I was taking Parker (4 years old) to the drinking fountain...he couldn't reach, so I picked him up.   One of the women in the ward exclaims:

"Put him down!!  You can't be carryin him nine months pregnant!!"


"Oh, don't worry, I am not even close to that...I will be fine..."  (I did say it with a smile, don't worry, I didn't bite her head off...)


Well, I guess the moral of the story is:  If you are short, your belly will go on for miles...and people don't say things to make you feel HUGE, they think they are telling you that you are "CUTE"....

at least...that's what I THINK is going on....
I can't be positive...

DISCLAIMER:  Though I may be sarcastic...I definately don't feel sorry for myself!!  I do love being pregnant, and enjoy feeling the life that is inside of me...

What do you get when...

What do you get when you send your hubby off with the kids for a few hours to a friends house...??

This...

I think the bright blue eyeshadow on Parker adds a nice touch...dont you??

(you may want to click to make it bigger...just to get a closer look )

HAHAHA....and of COURSE it would be on a school night!!

I love my man...

Is it Catsup or Ketchup...??

Well, either way you spell it...I have been feverishly working on "Catchup-ing" my blog for the year of 2009....and I am super proud to say...I DID IT...yay for me...

I posted them during the times they happened so when I finally do put the year into a book...it will be in the right place, so here are all the new posts that you haven't seen yet!!!! 

CHECK THEM OUT!!!

Merry Stinkin' Christmas...

Birthday Express...

2 Men and a little party...

Parents Gone Wild...

Happy reading...and commenting ;)

Nobody Nose...

Well, I thought it was weird when my now four year old had an odd obsession with putting foreign objects up his nose beginning around 18 months...but apperantly, this is a trend at the Lords house...

I have tiny ziplock baggies with Parker's name and age containing the contents that we have found up his nose (well, only the non-perishable ones that is)...ranging from buttons, to beads, to a chewed off plastic fin of a toy shark...ya, that one was jagged and big, and put him on antibiotics when we didn't find it for three days....AHHH!!!

Blazer has graciously stepped into this roll, and I found two beads up the kids nose recently.  I thought there was only one, but NOPE...he HAD to jam two up there...! 

First bead...

White bead...look WAY up there...

LUCKILY I was able to remove them with our needle-nose pliers, otherwise, it would have been yet ANOTHER trip to the doctor for such incidences...

SILLY BOYS!!!